Christmas Insanity
by 9r7g5h
Summary: Their first Christmas as a real, true family was a little bit insane. And by little bit, I mean a lot.


**AN** : So, I'm finding a lot of fics that I actually never posted. I guess I just wrote them and forgot? Oh well. Here they are now! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own Jane the Virgin.

* * *

It was quite possible she was over exaggerating, but Jane was sure she was going to go insane.

Christmas at the Villanueva house was always a mess, in one way or another. Between the inevitable arguments her mother and Alba always started around lunch time (which were always over the stupidest things and were generally resolved by snacks an hour or two later) and the more recent drama brought in by Rogelio (seriously, who tried to have a hundred live doves delivered to the house in a giant box so they could be released as the first gift?) and the whole situation with Rafael, the last two Christmases had been a mess. A glorious, wonderful mess in the end, but a mess that even her 'C.A.L.M.' moto had had a hard time helping her through.

Nothing in her life had ever prepared her for this, though, and Jane was sure she was going to lose it.

"Petra," Jane called, Mateo balanced on one hip while she balanced the half packed diaper bag on the other, the sound of the two infants crying in the other room making it hard for her to think. "Petra, have you seen-"

"Mattie's lovie," Petra cut her off as she half ran into the room, one child- Anna- bawling in her arms. Gently placing her daughter onto the couch, Petra pulled the lovie out from the waistband of her pajama pants and draped it over Jane's unoccupied shoulder. "It was on the changing table. Can you see what Anna is crying, please? Elsa won't take her medicine for her ear infection and I still have to shower before we can leave and-"

This time it was Jane who cut Petra off, dropping the diaper bag onto the counter and grabbing her girlfriend's wrist, pulling her in for a quick kiss to stop the panicked rambling she knew was coming. Smiling reassuringly, Jane reached up and cupped Petra's cheek, her grin widening as Petra leaned into the touch. "Go take care of Elsa," Jane said, nodding towards where the other crying infant could still be heard in the other room. "I've got Anna, I promise."

"Thank you, I love you, you're the most amazing woman in the world," Petra quickly said, leaning in for one more quick kiss before pulling away and running into the other room, her supposed-to-be-calming babble a bit more forced than normal.

Not that Jane could blame her. Her mother was getting out of prison tomorrow, they were two hours late arriving at the house Xiomara, Rogelio, and Alba had moved into after Jane had moved in with Petra, and Rafael had already called three times that morning alone. Yes, he, Luisa, and Luisa's new girlfriend were all invited to dinner that night, but he didn't need to confirm it a dozen times like he had over the last week and then five more the morning of.

Yes, he was nervous. It was his first time really hanging out with them ever since their fall out and ever since she and Petra had officially started dating. But still, it had been his first call that had started Mateo crying earlier while Jane had been getting dressed and trying to wake up Petra, and she was about ready to strangle the man.

"Okay Mateo," Jane said in a faux happy voice, settling him down on the couch next to his sister, sliding the lovie off her shoulder and into his waiting hands. "Just sit here while I take care of your sister, okay?"

The almost two-year-old just nodded and smiled, his thumb gravitating from his lovie to his mouth.

Jane half glared at her smiling son, because he knew he was supposed to keep his thumb out of his mouth, but with her arms full of Anna, she couldn't do anything to stop him. Cheeky little boy.

"Shh, Anna, it's okay," Jane cooed softly, pressing the little girl's head against her chest as she rocked back and forward. "Shh, what's wrong? Do you need a change? Or are you hungry? Or are you just beyond exhausted because Daddy called Mamma and Mommy at six am this morning when he knows you don't wake up before nine unless there's an earthquake? Unlike your siblings, who are awake at seven am on the clock, but still. That was an hour early for them too, and I know they're tired. You must be as well." Bouncing as she talked, Jane quickly ran down her check list- the diaper was dry and didn't have a smell; when she offered her one of the bottles of milk Petra had finished pumping a few minutes earlier, she turned her face away and continued to scream; and so far the bouncing, which normally put the night owl baby to sleep after it hit four in the morning, had done nothing.

So when Mateo held out the pacifier he had pulled from the diaper bag, Jane gratefully accepted it and held it before Anna's mouth, her breath held as she waited for her to take it. A breath she released with a small laugh a moment later when she did, the apartment becoming quiet as her screaming halted.

"Thank you, my angel," Jane said as she leaned over, kissing Mateo on the top of his head. "That was a very smart idea."

Mateo just grinned up at her before putting his thumb back in his mouth, tiredly resting his head against his lovie and leaning back against the couch as he waited for his mothers to finish.

"Do you know what it says about us as parents that a two year old can get his little sister to stop crying before we can," Petra asked as she walked back into the room, a sniffling Elsa tucked against her exposed chest to nurse in one arm while the other held a handful of random items, pacifiers and blankets and some extra diapers to be thrown into the diaper bag. Tilting them all in, Petra leaned against the counter and signed, running her fingers through her hair. "Because I think it means we should give Rafael full custody and run away to Mexico for a year, then come back when they can sleep through the night."

"You don't mean that," Jane said, rolling her eyes before looking between Anna and Mateo. "Mommy doesn't mean that, no she doesn't. Mommy's just tired and needs a shower. Once we get to Mamma's place, Abuela and Abuelo and Bisabuela will be there to help, and Daddy will show up tonight with Auntie Luisa and this new girl she met a few weeks ago, so there'll be more adults then children, and Mommy can even take a nap. Then she'll feel much better, and we can all have a lovely Christmas."

"Mommy is still considering taking your dad up on that offer to babysit while we go on a cruise," Petra chimed in, coming up behind Jane and wrapping her free arm around her waist, her hand landing on her hip. "Just the two of us for a whole week," Petra said softly, placing a kiss against Jane's shoulder as she spoke. "No diaper changes, no calls from our ex, nothing to interrupt us in the middle of the night…"

"You only woke up Elsa because you were being too loud," Jane teased before wiggling away. "And you know you'd miss this," she pointed out, nodding her head downwards, towards the infant that had just pulled itself away from Petra's breast. "You'd miss it all, even the loud, gross, interrupting bits."

And in that moment, with everything quiet, Petra just gave Jane that small smile she always gave whenever she mentioned running away, that smile that told Jane she was right, that Petra would regret missing these moments, both peaceful and disturbing. And one day they would take that trip, just the two of them, when the kids were a bit older and they slept through the night. But for now, this was okay.

But then Elsa started to squirm in her arms, Mateo started to whine that his diaper was 'groose' (meaning he needed to be changed. Part of Jane couldn't wait until he turned two and they could start potty training), and Anna, in an attempt to add something to the situation, kicked her, hard, right in the nipple.

It took another hour before they finally left the apartment, everyone dry and dressed and, in Petra's case, properly showered, meaning they were three hours late and the breakfast they had planned on having with Jane's family turned into brunch. Which meant lunch was pushed back a few hours, which meant when Raphael and his group showed up on the door starving, nothing was ready.

But as they sat on the couch, her head resting on Petra's shoulder and their hand intertwined, watching as Alba and Luisa held the girls while Raphael and Rogelio tried to wrestle open the box holding Mateo's new doll (eventually, Luisa's girlfriend just stole it from them and opened it herself with the knife Xo handed her), Jane couldn't help but smile at how lucky she was.

And while she was sure she had gone insane, well, perhaps with the family she shared with Petra, the woman she was hoping to, one day, give the ring she had hidden in her sock drawer, a little bit of insanity on Christmas Day wasn't the worse thing in the world.


End file.
